coddling 'em

When I was a kid diabetics used to have to just watch as we ate our Milky Ways and Caramacs. They knew there place. Now look what the buggers get! No doubt its all free paid for by the hardworking taxpayer. Stop giving diabetics free chocolate and all them benefits and they could make petrol a penny a pint.

outrageous

Well i wont pay it - neither will most of my mates on facebook.

They should never have got rid of pounds shilings and groats - petrol was about 4/6d then.

aunty caitlin surprises us all!

This is Aunty Caitlin, Barely Functionings sister. Shes surprised us all by announcing to us that shes getting married on 21st June! A big Bowells wedding - brilliant! No-one knows who the 'lucky' fellow is, she aint telling. Shes 61 and never been married, though there was talk of a J I during the war. Shes always been more into horses and donkeys, and Casualty.


Were talking her into having Ronnie and Reggie as bridesmaids.


And Little Marsh as page boy, love him!

marshys week

I bought this for Little Marsh last week. Yeah, I know hes only 14 but his feet reach the pedals and itll only be round the estate and perhaps the odd trip to the seaside or Poundstretcher for his mum. I wouldn't want him riding a bike with all them pervs and philes around.


What pillows should be like. I bought a couple of these off the BNP website and they arrived yesterday. Imagine having a romp with the Queen Mum with these on the bed - I reckon the ol gal would do anything for a loyal subject when hes flying the flag as it were!


Caught this bleeding badger in my kitchen eating a fucking rat. probably got it from Desmond next door. The fucker then washed it down with a bottle of Cheryls favourite lambrusco ...


Ronnie and Reggie outside the new car holding that bloody guinea pig thing what tried to escape when Cheryl opened the door. If it aint careful itll be nailed to the wall or sellotaped to the ceiling. Bloody pets. But them girls love it.

Get Marshy!

Me and ken Livingstones tart, London. 2008.

Cheryls all lovey duvvy at the moment. She's left me downstairs with a 6 pack of Quaver's, a 24 of Stella and pick of the channels. I found Get Carter one of me favourite films. Michael Cane showing them northern fuckers what for.

I should have been a gangster I'm just like Caney. Demolition and scaffoldings allright but you dont get to kill many people or ride round in open topped sports cars pushing fuckers off multistories. Guns are brilliant, all them sparks and bangs. And its really cool. Al Capone and Robert de Nero, that couldve been me if Id kept away from the poles. Too straight and narrow me. Mind you I wouldnt want to be killed in the end like Caney, I suppose thats the downside.

And Ive got me kids.

driving me MAD!

What next? Our glorious Queen is visiting Turkey and what do the moslems do? Make her dress up in a kebab and make her wear a headscarf. Look at her face above. Shes not happy. She should march back home and order Tony brown to bomb everywhere west of Essex. Could you imagine what would happen if we made there bloody allahs dress up in dog collar and bishops hat every time they wanted to go in an ENGLISH church? Youd have jihads up and down the high street bombing fuckery out of everyone with white skin and a union jack vest on.

Its not on. This is ENGLAND.

stuff you tony brown

Well I aint paying it and Cheryls threatening to get the bike out of the back of the garage - for me to ride of course. Ive just bought a luvvly new 4x4 and what happens, this government decides to push tax up to breaking point. But were british and were not having it. Its half the price in America and there roads are twice as long - and they drive on the wrong side.

Look, were winning the war in Afghanystan and Iraq and theyve got loads of oil, they dont need it for there bloody donkeys so we should just bring it over here and give it to everybody for nothing. Whats the point of war if you can't share out the spoiils of it. You dont think Adolf would have invaded Poland and not nicked there oil would you? He'd have shown them what for, any arguments and they'd be thrown in one of those contemplation camps, thatd wipe the smile off there faces.

Were too bloody soft by half over here. This is great Britian not some third world dump. We used to run this world had colonys everywhere, even america was one once till we got rid of em, bloody yanks.

I,m not having it and neithers Cheryl. Were really cross this evening.

And as for this bloody credit card crunch thing, we got our bill yesterday and the fuckers reckon we owe them for that bloody kitchen. £18000! As if. Cheryl said it would be about 500 quid. I'll be phoning them in the morning mark my words.

not on

Ronnie came home late last night (Reggies still missing) and was showing everyone this huge tatoo shes had done on her bum - I darent even show whats on the other cheek its so foul. Its some sort of devil worship thing. Im taking her back down the shop tomorrow to have it off. Itll probably go septic and shes not eighteen until June. Then shell be frogmarched to church for a word with the vicar.

God bless us all

Beltane fires - I think not!


This is what these so-called 'fires' are used for.


Disgusting ...

I've been invited by someone called Robin Whitlock (Robin Warlock more like) to join a 'facebook' group.

Rather than joining this group I've actually reported it to the police.

Its called bring back the beltane fires.

This is a CHRISTAIN country. Jesus was born here and lived here for 37 years making miracles, gutting fish and spreading His word. He raised leopards from the dead and cured a cough. He walked through water and rarely got his gulliver wet. He died for us.

Pagans want us all to strip off and run through fires, 24 hours a day, 265 days a year.

Ask yourself - could you imagine Queen Victoria, Maggie Thatcher, Winnie Churchill and the good old queen mum stripping down to their pants and socks and leaping through a bonfire to 'celebrate' this evil creed?

Me neither.

What is this great country coming too?

pride!

What a day!! Flags flying from every rooftop, god save the Queen being sung on every street corner and the pubs open until midnight! Weve been steaming! I sent 70 St George cards didnt get one back, but I dont care, its for England. God bless her Majesty Winnie Churchill and all them bulldogs.

Ive never been so proud to be english.

shit Im pissed ...

london tarn

Mickey the Martian, me and Barely Functioning stand in front of Buckingham Palace - God save her!


The London Wheel. Cheryl took the kids on it and they filled it to a depth of about two foot with vomit and sick.


Fucking spoilt diabetics. You can get anythink in London, even special chocolate for the fuckers.


I have a snack in a London caff - look at that bleeding ant on me shoulder, the size of a small child.

We went up to London last week to see Mickey the Martian and Barely Functioning - Dad and mum to you lot. Had a punnet of eels and chips up by the river and yelled abuse at that Ken Livingston bloke as he rode past on his bike. We caused havoc!

thats my boy

Ive had some of the lads round this evening. Bobby found Little Marshes comic and was rolling around laughing. He can draw quite good - gets it from me even though Ive never tried drawing, never had the time.

birthday coming up

It's Ronnie and Reggies 18th soon (June 18th). Cheryl reckons theyll like these outfits but I want to get them a car each. Ginger knows a bloke that knocks out licenses, MOT's and tax disc's on a laser printer, and can do matching number plates as well. I fancy RON 1 and REG 1. Perhaps I'll get em a pony each too.

our day is coming

Its great to see that we'll be celebrating good old St Georges day next week. These are just part of the small range of cards in my local Spar, before I bought them all. Theres good old winnie, bulldogs, the flag, minis, mrs Maggie, even the odd swastika.

I'm going to buy a couple of sheets of English stamps and send them to everybody I know - Ginger, Bobby the Bone, Alby the lot. I bet I dont get any back. And I'm taking Little marsh to the facepainters to get his two and eight face painted red white and blue. I cant wait.

crime and punishment

Sitting quietly on the yellow bench near a child. Reflecting.


Taking their ballpond out - in public - so it can be sent to some dear little African children.


Leading the Macarena - in public.

What happened was the girls went out, got drunk on alcopops, munched on some ketamine and did indeed end up in a skip - asleep, rather than murdered.

It took me and Ginger six hours to find the fuckers, poking around in every skip and ditch between here and the Royal oak whilst Cheryl rung every private hospital in the area to see if theyd been run over or murdered.

Girls arent worth the bother, your much better off with boys. Little Marsh is rarely any trouble. Ronnie and Reggie are bastards. There not allowed to wear catsuits for a month, no Liberty X shows, ball ponds off to Africans, theyve both been on the yellow bench, they had to do the Macarena in front of dozens of kids and theyre not allowed any sweets for three months.

bloody kids!

The girls turned up (photos of their punishments tomorrow), now Ive found Little Marsh has been drawing cartoons. I love him but he hasn't got a clue how to draw and hes not at all funny. What do you think?

lost

Ronnie and Reggie went out this afternoon and haven't come back yet. Cheryl's worried, think they might be in a skip somewhere. That reminded her of the (original) kitchen and she gets livid with me, tips me fishie fingers in the bin and sends me out looking for them.

I made some posters with this picture from their 17th birthday saying underneath

LOST

TWO GIRLS (TWINS)

ANSWER TO THE NAME OF RONNIE AND REGGIE

CAREFUL THEY BITE

USUALLY WEAR MATCHING LEPPARDSKIN CATSUITS

REWARD FOR RETURN £100

I've put them up all over town on lampposts and in Morrisons

What with this and that new money I've had a bad day.

put 'em back!

So these are the new coins?

I WON'T BE USING THEM!

I still don't know why they got rid of shillings and joeys.

No doubt these will have Tony brown's head on the back side rather than the Queen of England.

My advice - if you get these in your change demand REAL money with the queens head on and throw them down the drain.