caitlins hen night

Im being abandoned this Friday - Cheryl Ronnie and Reggie are going to Caitlins hen night (and Little Marsh is away on bad boys camp). I've got to stay in and look after that fucking guinea pig so I've had to cancel my night out with the boys for the first time in 14 years. There will be hell to pAY! Especially if they come back drunk.

The odd thing is that theres no stag night for us blokes. In fact nobodies found out what Caitlins blokes called yet and none of us have met him. Perhaps therell be a surprise do for us all??

march of the zombies

I've just watched Corpses. Zombies are GREAT! Reggie goes a bit zombieish like above when we all ran off. You can eat people and your dead and alive all at the same time.

Films are great - Ive got hundreds on DVD and there like a window to a world I'll probably never visit - unless I get bitten by one of the fuckers!

The twins and their little Roumanian friends

Ronnie and Reggie have been looking after a couple of Roumanian orphan girls this week, part of their punishment for heavy drinking and staying out late. These girls are called Holina and Shaniska. I made them sleep in the shed as their not used to our ways. We all cried when they went mainly because we were getting £300 a week each for looking after them. We fed them on scraps and made them walk everywhere so it was pure profit.

my mates - Bobby the Bone

This is Bobby in typical stance, half empty glass, half open eyes.

But hes an intellectual. He reads a posh paper (the mail), speaks French (parley voo anyway) and knows the difference between red wine and white.

He dont have tomato sauce, only ketchup and he was there when his kid (greenstick) was born.

He kn ows the names of seven different countries and he often gets us out of fights by blinding opponants with his sharp wit, if that dont work he blinds them with a spoon.