and this

Oh, and i had to buy her this fucking guinea pig thing.

released

Its been a week - shes never got this addled with me, even when I cooked her pet rabbit for april fools day. I was in that attic for seven days and seven nights like bleeding Jesus. I must have lost about 6 stone.

And this is what it costs me. Another new kitchen as if the one me and the boys made werent good enough. Its going to cost hundreds I reckon, I wont know until the credit card bills come in. Which reminds me, shes kept the card - that was part of my release 'deal'. Shes bought about 18 hats for a start, cars for the kids (even Little Marsh) and a load of reggae CDs.

All this for a few fish fingers. And I have to take me shoes off just to get to the back door.

doghouse

Ive been in the doghouse. Cheryl DIDNT like the new kitchen, in fact she threw a wobbly.

Ive been put up the attic for a week although she has let me out this evening for a bath and some fishy fingers. Im also allowed on the internet for five minutes so thisll be a quick one.

I still dont know what I've supposed to have done wrong. THEY seem to have had a great time, Ive been listening to them all week and it sounded like one long party. All I could see was the view out of the attic window (see above) and Ive spent the whole week reading old Bunty annuals. I like them Four Marys.

next job

That bleeding wind blew some of me fence down. Yet another job after the kitchen.

Oh and I've just started one of them facebook things.

finished!

Cheryls in for a surprise in the morning. I sent her (and the kids) off to her mothers on Saturday - and she's coming back to this dream kitchen me and the lads made for her. We got through 8 crates of Stella, 15 packs of fish fingers and about a ton of Quavers which kept us awake! Its hard to believe we got all this out of a skip! Sometimes I reckon shes the luckiest bird alive ...

kitchen stuff

Me and Cheryl went to this Ikea place this morning. What a joke! All the stuff was in some foreign language - this is England for Gods sake!! They even sold 'vegetarian' hot dogs in the cafe - yeah, vegetarian sossies, I don't think so.

So I stormed out with Cheryl following.

But then just before getting home I found a skip full of kitchen stuff. Worktops, drawers, a sink, even some old jars and a pack of fish fingers.

Plan is the boys come over this weekend, we get a few crates in and build Cheryl her lovely new kitchen - and all for nothing!

a kitchen fit for a queen

Cheryl's been bending me ear'ole about a new kitchen. Dunno why, this looks good enough for me. But her mate Kath's just got a new one, all hoods and marble worktops and spongers, whatever they are.

I've always reckoned that if you can fry up a few fish fingers and chips without setting fire to your gulliver then your kitchens okay. All this flash stuff like balsamic vinegar and salt and peppers for poofs. Just shovel it down and get to the pub, you'll be chucking it up anyway an hour or two later.

Women have it too easy. Anyway, we're off to Ikea tomorrow to look at some, or so she reckons.

and this is me

I loved this car. Bought it in 89 for a tenner off Ginger Souter. Cheryl almost gave birth to the girls in the back of it but I just got her to Zachary Merton in time (with a pub stop on the way). It took ages to get the stains off the back seat. 'Oooo me waters have broke Marsh'. 'Stain the upholstery and it'll be yer neck whats broke'. Three hours later and Ronnie and Reggie joined the Bowells clan. Happy days.